Listening to: sounds of morning
Reading: Venus in Fur (play)
Watching: Strong Poison
Playing: Animal Crossing: NL
Well… yes. Yes it has.
It has been… a hell of a semester, and I do not use that term AT ALL lightly. I was not entirely sure I was going to make it out of April alive. But now it's May, and I'm still standing, in some semblance of physical and mental health. And now I'm going to write about it a little, because this is a journal after all.
After the GREATEST SUMMER EVER, which largely reignited my desire for theatrical pursuits, refreshed my soul, and gave me some ridiculous stories to tell, I more or less had decided I was going to audition for Rent at one of the local theaters in the fall. This was a big decision, because I was also directing my animation cohort's short film at school, and I knew a) this was going to be a huge time commitment on both ends and b) I had a lot of … personnel issues to deal with on the animation front. But I said, No, I can deal with it. I can make it work. And I convinced myself that for my physical and mental health, I needed something to keep me from staying in the lab at all hours. Because that's the kind of person I am.
So at the end of November, I was cast in Rent. Rehearsals started in December. We sold out our initial run before opening and extended twice. I gave five months of my life to that production, and I absolutely would do it again. But it also meant I didn't have as much time for animation. Oh sure, I got MY work done… I just didn't have time to pick up the slack for other members of my team. I guess it was in March, I was checking our production folder, looking at the amount of finished work turned in, and I thought, "Oh good, they're sort of keeping up with me…" and then I stopped and thought, "I haven't had a free evening in three months. They shouldn't just be keeping up. They should be putting me to shame." I also had one animator who stopped coming to class in March, so that didn't exactly help. It took me a long time and some long talks with my teachers, my long-suffering artistic director, and my mentor to stop feeling guilty about not having the time to do other people's work for them, to stop feeling like I had completely failed when it became clear we weren't going to finish. I haven't killed off those feelings entirely, but I'm basically at peace with the choices I made. Including this last one…
Rent closed at the end of April, just as my health was finally giving out. Just finished my antibiotics a couple days ago… still not totally recovered. Nevertheless, when asked to be a part of the production team for Venus in Fur, (which opened last Friday) I willingly accepted. I was originally just supposed to run sound, but I got involved in the rehearsals and sort of morphed into a stage manager. The two actors involved and the director are some of my favorite people on the planet, and every night I've spent with them has been an enjoyable one. Great show with great people… it honestly doesn't get much better than that. We've got one more weekend to go, and I can't think of a better way to end this bloody semester. Wednesday is demo night (which I would happily skip), Thursday is my last final, and then BAM. I shall go to the pick-up rehearsal that night a free woman.
So yeah, obviously, have not had a lot of time for personal art, art blobs, or anything else really that didn't involve trying to get more sleep. Hoping to get back on that eventually.
Hope you're all doing well--